Undertow

You hold me where the water

turns Black around the knees—

not the crash, not the crest,

but just underneath.

Where every step is stolen ground,

taken back by force.

Where I can feel you pull me under.

Where I’ve been before.

🌖

You know just how to hold

your hands around my throat—

A tender touch while I suffocate

from the second-hand smoke.

I have worn your words like skin—

like prayers I used to need,

until every little mercy felt

like another way to bleed.

🌊

You never loved me loud.

You never loved me.

Just my name in your mouth.

Only, what we could be.

If you’re gonna pull me under,

make it quick. Make it clean.

Don’t leave me in the half-light,

half-hope, drowning in my dreams.

I would rather break completely

than live on your release.

I’m caught in your undertow—

this isn’t what love’s supposed to be.

🌒

I’m not asking for your kindness

I’m asking for your truth

There is nothing that is righteous

In the loving that you do

You keep calling it protection

Like the shallow end is peace

My own heart is the weapon

You turn against me

🌊

You were never the wave

You were always the drag

The quiet kind of ruin

That keeps calling me back

Knowing I’ll come

🌙