The Left Arm's Funeral
for the "Unnecessary Line" challenge
He wept into his mothers skirt.
The day was hot with salty steam.
The old oak bent to offer shade for
the one who had to learn
how to be full again.
.
The pastor raised his head,
sweat droplets melted down his face,
he didn't know what words to say
to ease a phantom itch.
"The clouds look like turtles."
.
They lowered him slowly,
into the opened earth below the gnarly tree.
He threw his toy train on the casket.
"So long, old pal."—so, it came to full circle,
and now he has to learn
how to live whole again.
About the Creator
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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Comments (17)
Well-wrought and accolades well-deserved! "See the TURTLE of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth. His thought is slow but always kind; He holds us all within his mind. On his back all vows are made; He sees the truth but may not aid. He loves the land and loves the sea, And even loves a child like me." -Stephen King, "The Dark Tower" (Series)
I love how we can picture this so effortlessly. Terrific job and I am liking that turtle line a lot! 😄
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Beautiful! Congrats on the RU! I got an HM for this one. It wasn't for the one I liked best of my entries. This one is great! 💜
Lovely ❤️🙏
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Of course your unnecessary line is going to be subtle and brilliant. This is the kind of poem that just grabs hold of the reader. I'll echo the love for "The clouds look like turtles." It's absolutely spot on for the kinds of things we remember in moments like these. Congratulations - well deserved win.
Beautiful and moving. The imagery stayed with me long after reading.
Very sensitive and compassionate - I especially loved the line “The clouds look like turtles” - because it captivates a child’s mind and innocence so correctly. A beautiful story, very well done, and I hope you’ll win ❤️
Aww this was sad, but the unnecessary line was perfect!
This was masterfully done. I absolutely loved it! Such a fantastic entry, best of luck!!
Oooo, this was so deep. Loved your take on this challenge!
Good job and learning to live on with loss of whatever.
I can guess what the unnecessary line is. I think I can guess what it's for too.
💖 The pastor seems far removed here. The words he utters when he doesn't know how to ease a "phantom itch" say more about his religious distance than they do about the one weeping in his mother's skirt. The Antithesis between these two selves is silent, but the moral bearing is tight enough for me to see the knot around his influence.
Wow, this is really well done.
Oh! What a creative take on this challenge. It flows effortlessly but I immediately knew what it was for. Great work!