Book Earth to Moon: A Memoir by Moon Zappa

What is a family? I think that it is almost impossible to impose standards on anyone when it comes to the issue of how a family should be formed, children raised, and lives lived. There are too many broken couples, extended families, and situationships out there to impose one template on all such couplings.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy…

But I have to wonder about what we need from a family, or at least the people who love us and should look out for us.

About Zappa

Moon Unit Zappa is the eldest daughter of the late musician Frank Zappa, and I will get this out of the way here in case my subtitles do not make it clear: I am a fan. I have been a fan since the moment I found myself watching her father’s “You Are What You Is” late one night on a video channel, marveling at his nerve to write such a political and catchy song. Then, I finally found the opportunity to listen to a whole album when I borrowed a CD player from a family friend and “Fillmore East - June 1971” from the library. I wanted to know more about his work and life and discovered a very deep well of talent and thought that still intrigues me today.

But never really thought about that family.

Yes, I knew about them, but they were not the reason why I cared about the man. His kids seemed to have the most interesting home lives and names: Diva, Ahmet and Dweezil. I am not sure if I thought that this was a part of Zappa’s project to reject the norms that he saw in American life. I simply found it interesting and amusing.

I never considered what was taking place in this culture war, and what the cost could be.

Do Families Belong in Music?

Moon, as stated earlier, was the oldest child, meaning that she was often responsible for taking care of the growing brood of Zappas. She had to be in charge of their cleaning, eating, care and basically keeping them out of their father’s hair (he had odd sleeping hours, usually working all night and sleeping all day). She describes herself as a doormat, someone who was willing to go along just to keep things running.

Now, to be fair, many artists are quite notorious for not being the best parents. Zappa is part of a long line of dads or fathers who were neglectful towards their kids. I would not go so far as to call him abusive; it was more of a cold distance where he could ignore the chaos of the household. His excuse could be that he was trying to keep his family above water. And he did do well in this regard. He would die of cancer at the age of fifty with his family surrounding him. There would even be a small moment of love with Moon just before he passed.

And then we have Gail.

Hot Spats

I have a problem discussing her, the wife of the late Frank. She would also succumb to cancer, and you should not speak ill of the dead, but I do not know what to say about someone who would be so tightfisted and domineering over their own children that she would turn them against each other, even denying Moon the chance to have her artwork on her dad’s last record (a specific request he made that his widow would deny). I don’t even feel like quoting specific samples of her comments. Instead, I will point out certain traits:

“One of my responsibilities as the oldest kid is to figure out what will make Gail and our dad calm down the fastest. When Gail stops yelling, that’s how I know she’s calm. I know my dad is calm when he goes back to work in the basement.”

Should any child be this aware of how to emotionally manipulate their parents? Should any child be so forgiving?

This comes as she is taking care of her mother in their last moment together:

“I beam at her and squeeze her hand, so struck by the total full-circle role reversal. I just feel so grateful for this briefest recognition. Then her face contorts as if she’s glimpsing the magnitude and foolishness of her lifelong projection of me.”

Wow. I just sat there and read that again, and I cannot believe that this comes after her mother points a finger at her own daughter and accuses her of being deeply unkind and unforgiving.

Lumpy Family

You might wonder about her relationship with the other Zappas. Well, Frank’s family was pushed out the picture by Gail early on, and only half of the siblings still talk to each other. I have seen Dweezil perform with his own band on a Zappa Plays Zappa tour, and I wondered where the others were. And then I found out that Ahmet and Diva control 60% of something called the Zappa Family Trust (Dweezil and Moon’s 40% is also Gail’s final triumph). And they barely speak to each other anymore (Dweezil once announced his plans to release a fiftieth-anniversary tribute to his father’s “Freak Out!” album; the tour is titled: “50 Years of Frank: Dweezil Zappa Plays Whatever the F@%k He Wants – The Cease and Desist Tour” He also announced that he had no interest in being in the same room with his brother).

And where does that leave Moon?

Well, she has this book and her life as a “writer, actor, comic, artist, podcaster, and tea baroness” (see the dustjacket). She has memories of recording a novelty single for her father – “Valley Girl” – and seeing it become the biggest single of his career (and almost ruining her life). She has her daughter, Mathilda, a love of running (I must contact her about this one day), many fans like myself who wanted this story to continue, and the possibility to live beyond the disappointments of a life that I thought I would envy.

Final note: I have read many books on Zappa, most recently Pauline Butcher’s “Freak Out!: My Life with Frank Zappa” (she worked as a secretary and staff member in the menagerie that was the Zappa household). If I put the tomes I have read together in my head and heart, I have to admit that I may actually know too much about him. And I can add that I feel I want to know more about the children that I never considered as casualties in a greater cultural war.

Ms. Moon, I rarely want to give an author a hug when I read a memoir – Jennette McCurdy, you’re next – but I hope that you know how many of us are sending you our embrace. Thank you for this book, and surviving having to live up to a reputation that was not yours to carry so that you can give us a message that we often forget:

Love yourself.

Thank you for reading!

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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